


Sam Stole My Boyfriend

by son_of_a_bitch_spn_family



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Better Than Canon, Castiel in the Bunker, Christmas, Dean is In Over His Head, Drunken Shenanigans, F/M, Face Punching, I Blame Tumblr, Jealous Dean Winchester, M/M, Mistletoe, Misunderstandings, Sam Winchester Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-04-22 13:27:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14309652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/son_of_a_bitch_spn_family/pseuds/son_of_a_bitch_spn_family
Summary: “Dude, you’ve been staring at me a lot lately, like even enough that Sam noticed. More than usual. So, like, what’s up?” Dean pauses, purses his lips and reconsiders. “What did I do?”Cas knows that would be a perfect time to confess to Dean what exactly happened and what he was thinking. Maybe, Dean had some insight into the situation or even some kind of comfort to offer. But, the longer that he sat there, he realized that he could not tell Dean absolutely anything. So instead, for the first time, Cas fumbled.“Um,” Cas mutters and abruptly stands. “Freckles?”Dean blinked up at him as Cas pivoted and left the room. There was only one remaining option he had and unfortunately, it involved Sam.





	Sam Stole My Boyfriend

**Author's Note:**

> I have zero idea why I wrote this. It came outta nowhere and I couldn't stop it, so here it is. And yes, I know Eileen is alive and well, what are you talking about? Pfft. 
> 
> -sobs

There were many things that Castiel had come to learn about humanity as his time delved from  _ handling a mission  _ to  _ sticking around.  _ Spending majority of his time confused but eager in his hope to understand, Cas was well aware that he was very far from understanding humans and he  _ was  _ one at a point in his time. But,  _ but,  _ Cas was fortunate and very lucky to have Sam and Dean as a guide. He rarely went off the script they had given him and it worked for everyone. Until, one day, Cas did. 

 

It all started with a kiss. 

 

It wasn't supposed to happen but throw holiday tradition in with heavy alcohol and things happen anyway. Cas couldn't get drunk, not really, but Sam and Dean were absolutely gone. Hell, it was Christmas and they deserved it. 

 

They'd gone out to some trashy bar with half priced Christmas decorations littered around to get drunk and shoot pool. A hour into it, Dean and Sam are slurring their words and spending more time giggling over their technique rather than managing to get a ball in. Cas is amused, watching the way Sam sways against his pool stick, eyes narrowed on Dean. 

 

Everything was fine, was  _ good, even _ , right up until a cute girl goes running up to Sam, definitely more than a little drunk and shoves her hand in the air. Sam straightens and blinks at the girl in surprise and she sticks her hand against her hip and cocks an eyebrow. 

 

“Well, big boy?” She asks Sam and jerks her head up, making Sam follow her gesture and glance up at the small plant she had dangling gently from her fingers. 

 

Dean bursts out into laughter and the girl cracks a grin as Sam goes still for a moment, a certain indecisiveness settling in him. It only lasts about two moments before Sam reaches out and tugs the girl in close, dipping down to plant his lips right over hers. 

 

Cas tilts his head. 

 

“It's mistletoe,” Dean helpfully provides, suddenly right next to him, grinning. 

 

“I don't know what that means,” Cas replies, a frown taking over his features. 

 

“It means ya kiss,” Dean says and waves his hand towards Sam and the girl. 

 

“Why?” Cas asks, glancing at Dean in confusion. 

 

“Christmas tradition,” Dean tells him, looking as if he wasn't exactly sure himself. “Supposed to swap love or something, I dunno.” 

 

“Sam does not love that girl,” Cas states, narrowing his eyes. 

 

“Well, y'know how us humans are, Cas,” Dean laughs, throwing an arm over Cas’ shoulder and smiling right in his face. “We make  _ everything  _ sexual. Now, it's just a lust thing.” 

 

“That's,” Cas trails off, watching as the girl laughed at something Sam said before turning and skipping away, running up to her friends and bursting into giggles. “Odd.” 

 

“Good one, Sammy!” Dean praises, throwing a thumbs up as Sam rolled his eyes but wore a dopey grin. 

 

It's Sam's shot and Dean stays leaning against Cas as he waits. Cas is fine with it, enjoys it actually. Dean is warm and firm and Cas likes the way he just leans into him, as if there is no other space to occupy. As Dean watches Sam, Cas watches the girls giggling and passing around the kissing plant. They are laughing loudly and keep glancing over towards them, amusement and incoherency passing between all of them as they look at Sam. 

 

Cas feels something like amusement curl in him when another girl takes the plant and starts heading towards them. That would be a strange occurrence for the girls to keep coming back to Sam but alcohol did strange things to a person's morals. The amusement he feels abruptly dies when he sees the girl heading straight for him and Dean. 

 

_ Oh.  _

 

Cas blinks and waits to see what will happen. This feels like yet another lesson in humanity and he wonders who she will demand a kiss from. He hopes it is Dean, mostly because it will mean nothing but also because he doesn't really want to kiss some strange girl as he's sober. He attempts to give her a smile as she abruptly pauses in front of them and she holds the plant high above their heads. 

 

Cas and Dean simultaneously look up, wondering who she picked. Cas’ eyes widen and drop as they land on the girl in shock. She's grinning wickedly, her eyes sparking with something that felt like a threat. 

 

“Well?” The girl says with a sweet smile. “Are you gonna kiss him or not?” 

 

Dean did not shove away, choosing to bark a laugh instead. Cas glances at Dean with a smile and becomes riveted because Dean is already looking at him, all smiles and light and happiness. Dean raises his eyebrows and wiggles them, eyes dancing in humor. 

 

“It  _ is  _ tradition,” Dean tells him like a suggestion, winking at him playfully. 

 

“Dean,” Cas says lightly. “I do not  _ understand _ this tradition. Why is there kissing involved?” 

 

“Cas, man,” Sam shouts, waving his hand and grinning widely. “Just go with it!” 

 

Cas blinks at Sam, not entirely sure why he's encouraging it, and he goes to tell Dean that it didn't seem like a good idea. Because, it doesn't; because, it  _ isn't.  _ But, it's too late. Dean already has his fingers hooked on Cas’ jaw as he tugs his head to the side. Cas barely registered the shouts of encouragement from the girls and Sam, only focused on the fact that Dean's lips have covered his. 

 

By all accounts, it should've been quick. There was nothing nowhere that stated it had to last a certain length. Sam didn't kiss that girl more than thirty seconds. And yet, Dean's fingers cradles Cas’ cheek and his lips slid gently against his, just a rocking motion that shouldn't have felt nice but did anyway. And, the kiss was lasting and lasting and  _ lasting. _

 

Cas realized that Dean was waiting for him to participate and Cas was curious enough to close his eyes and rock back. Cas had kissed before, specifically enjoying Meg's kiss the most, so he wasn't foreign to it. But, this was different and he  _ felt  _ different. 

 

This was  _ Dean,  _ was Dean's lips nibbling his, was Dean's nose brushing his, was Dean's fingers rubbing his jaw. It felt intimate and endless, like it could last forever trapped between them. Dean drew in a breath through his nose and curled in close, his free hand dropping to grip the lapels of his trenchcoat, trying to tug him in even closer. 

 

A flash went off and Cas thinks maybe he should bring a stop to the kiss. He thinks about Dean, sober and gruff, never speaking to him again. But then, Dean's tongue abruptly gets involved and Cas’ original thought leaves him as does most of everything else. Cas doesn't understand why it feels like it does or why he's warm and- and  _ wanting.  _ Cas had wanted plenty in his time but not quite like this. 

 

Dean suddenly breaks away, his hot breath fanning over Cas’ face rapidly. Cas’ eyes flutter open and he stares into oddly clear green orbs that are wide and shocked. Cas doesn't understand why Dean looks like that and he isn't sure why they're still locked so close together. Cas should've moved but he found he was unable to. Another flash goes off and Cas blinks, turning to glare at Sam who held his phone up with a bright grin. 

 

“I'm  _ so  _ sending this to both of you!” Sam laughs, typing on his phone. 

 

Dean laughs abruptly and presses a sloppy kiss to Cas’ cheek, going soft and warm against him, apparently still drunk. The girl is gone and Cas is left to wonder exactly how long they shared a kiss. As Cas stares at Dean in wonder, he knows he doesn't understand humanity as much as he pretends to but he thinks he just learned something about himself. 

.

.

.

 

The morning after is slow. Cas is left to rouse the boys with the smell of pancakes and bacon. Dean had taught him how to cook a few things but he insisted that pancakes and bacon could be eaten at any time in the day, disregarding Sam's insistence that it was breakfast food. 

 

He's almost done when Sam enters the kitchen, shuffling his feet and rubbing his head. His hair is loose around his face and his phone is off in his limp hand. Cas already has a glass of water and aspirin waiting which he points to. Sam immediately knocks it back, groaning and nodding to Cas in thanks. 

 

“Dean says grease helps with hangovers,” Cas tells Sam and passes him a plate with a small smile. “I hope it provides some relief.” 

 

“Ah,” Sam croaks, cringing at the plate. “Thank you, Cas, really. I'll take those pancakes but the bacon is definitely a no.” 

 

“Dean lied?” Cas asks, frowning. 

 

“No, Dean just has an iron stomach,” Sam mutters, rolling his eyes as he puts the bacon back and starts on the pancakes. 

 

“Good?” Cas murmurs and he wonders why he's fishing, why it matters. 

 

But, it definitely does. When Sam's head pops up, his eyes wide and his mouth full, Cas is struck with a small pang of fondness. His eyes are soft, his hair tucked behind his ears, and he looks like he's very pleased. 

 

“This is great, Cas,” Sam informs him and smiles wide before digging in again. 

 

Cas smiles, a bit of pride filling him. Shortly after, Dean pads in, his eyes barely open and his phone almost falling from his hand. He grunts when Sam greets him and makes a beeline for the charger to plug his phone in. Exactly after that, he heads straight for the bacon, picking up some and taking a big bite. 

 

“For your headache,” Cas tells him and gestures to the water and aspirin. 

 

“You're a fuckin angel,” Dean groans before knocking his back, immediately turning his attention back to the bacon. 

 

“Do you like the bacon?” Cas asks, again a bit ashamed that it matters. 

 

“Perfect,” Dean says in between bites, managing a grin around the bacon in his mouth. 

 

Cas turns his head to hide his smile, warmth filling him. He's well aware how endearing Dean is but it still manages to surprise him occasionally. He finishes cooking and turns off the stove, going to the sink with the thought of cleaning before joining Sam at the table. 

 

“Hey, man, don't worry about that,” Dean tells him, pausing in his feast to frown at Cas. “You cooked, I'll clean. Sit down and eat.” 

 

“I don't eat,” Cas reminds him. 

 

Dean purses his lips, narrows his eyes, and heaves a sigh. He flicks his gaze between the bacon and the sink, a sort of war going on in his eyes. Cas waits, not entirely sure what Dean is thinking. Dean sighs heavily and drops the piece of bacon he has, moving over to join Cas at the sink, rolling up his sleeves. 

 

“Fine,” Dean grumbles. “I'll help and then we both can sit down. Sound good?” 

 

“Yes, Dean,” Cas says and smiles. 

 

They finish up the dishes quickly and Dean makes himself a proper plate. They sit down and though Cas doesn't eat, he feels as if he's apart of the meal. As the boys slowly reanimate and the medicine begins to work, conversation flows easily between them. 

 

Everything is fine, is going good, right up until they finish their meal and Dean goes to turn his phone on. Cas and Sam clean up their plates, conversation flowing through them easily, when Dean curses and drops his phone. Sam and Cas turn to look at him curiously. 

 

“Cas,” Dean hisses, eyes wide. “What the  _ fuck? _ ”

 

“Excuse me?” Cas asks, baffled. 

 

Dean bends down and scoops his phone up, his face tight and upset. He steps right up to Cas, shoves his phone at him and crossed his arms, waiting as his jaw clenches. Cas stares at the picture, blinking slowly. He and Dean are kissing, their faces soft and tender. Dean's hand is cradling Cas’ face and their eyes are closed. It's actually very sweet. 

 

“And, the next one,” Dean grits out. 

 

Cas flips to the next picture and in a way, it's more intimate. They're not kissing but they are staring at each other, their eyes wide with wonder and  _ something.  _ Cas tilts his head, surprised that they looked like that. Had he felt like that? He almost forgot about it and he wonders how, especially with how he felt. Cas abruptly wants to expand on it, wants to know what would happen if they kissed again. 

 

“I sent those,” Sam blurts and Cas blinks, looking up in surprise. 

 

“Yeah, Sam,  _ I fucking know, _ ” Dean growls, jabbing a finger at Cas. “What happened!?” 

 

“Mistletoe,” Cas tells him, frowning. “You said it was tradition.  _ You  _ kissed  _ me.  _ Why are you upset? It was nice.” 

 

“I- What?” Dean huffs, his face twisting into confusion. “Shit, man, how much did I drink?” 

 

“I dunno,” Sam snorts. “But, uh, you were wasted, dude. Good going.” 

 

“You encouraged it,” Cas tells Sam seriously, arching an eyebrow.

 

“I did?” Sam asks, making a face at Dean, his eyes wide as he shrugged. 

 

“Whatever,” Dean interrupts Cas, flapping a hand and glaring at them. “Not a word.  _ Ever. _ ” 

 

“Got it,” Sam says and grins. “Don't talk about it because you're sensitive.”

 

“ _ Shut up. _ ” 

 

And, that should've been that, except it wasn't. Because, Cas was staring at the pictures and he was  _ feeling.  _ Because, Cas was curious and there was a lot he didn't understand. But, this,  _ this moment,  _ was something he needed to. 

.

.

.

 

Cas eventually got fed up. He'd practically forgotten the kiss until Dean had brought it up. So, in a way, it was Dean's fault. 

 

Cas remembered how he had felt about Meg and even what little relief he found in April. Though he wasn’t himself at the time, Cas even remembered how safe and comfortable he had been when he was living with Daphne as Emmanuel. It got him to thinking about he really thought about Dean, what he truly considered Dean as. 

 

Thing was, it was simple. Dean was his...everything. 

 

He realized, after much consideration, that maybe that was too much to be thinking. Cas knew deep down that it was true. Dean had always been his most important discovery, his influence undoubtedly the most important thing that Cas cherished. It made sense, seeing as Cas reshaped his whole existence after simply getting to know Dean as a person and not just a soul. 

 

It shouldn't have come as a surprise to him that he was, and had been for a long time, in love with Dean Winchester. 

 

It did anyway. 

 

Cas sat on that information for a while, mulling it over. He gathered his evidence, running back through all their past encounters in his head and viewing them through a different perspective. That took a while because nine years was a long time but also because it made Cas severely uncomfortable. This was his  _ best friend  _ and he was thinking about him in an inappropriate manner. He was almost positive that Dean would not approve. 

 

Eventually, it became obvious that something was up. 

 

“Uh, Cas,” Dean says about a week after the phone incident. “Can I ask you something, buddy? I mean, it isn’t that big a deal but uh, do you mind?”

 

“Do I mind what exactly?” Cas asks in confusion. 

 

“Dude, you’ve been staring at me a lot lately, like even enough that Sam noticed. More than usual. So, like, what’s up?” Dean pauses, purses his lips and reconsiders. “What did I do?” 

 

Cas knows that would be a perfect time to confess to Dean what exactly happened and what he was thinking. Maybe, Dean had some insight into the situation or even some kind of comfort to offer. But, the longer that he sat there, he realized that he could not tell Dean absolutely anything. So instead, for the first time, Cas fumbled. 

 

“Um,” Cas mutters and abruptly stands. “Freckles?”

 

Dean blinked up at him as Cas pivoted and left the room. There was only one remaining option he had and unfortunately, it involved Sam. 

.

.

.

 

“Wait, wait, wait,” Sam gasps, rushing over to shut his door as he whirled on Cas with wide eyes and parted lips. “Please, for the love of all things holy, run that by me again.”

 

“Sam, don't be so dramatic.” Cas hisses and rolls his eyes, only for Sam to arch an eyebrow and cross his arms. “Alright, fine. I  _ said _ that I am in love with your brother.” 

 

“This is literally the last thing I have ever expected you to say,” Sam tells him. 

 

“Really?” Cas hums. “I would think that you would be aware of my feelings towards your brother. After much consideration and abrupt realization, I understood that it was pretty obvious.” 

 

“No, Cas, it’s really not. I mean, you’re not exactly easy to read,” Sam admits, pressing his mouth together and wrinkling his forehead in sympathy. 

 

“Well,” Cas sighs. “I am in love with Dean.”

 

“Just to be clear,” Sam says slowly. “Like, romantically, right? Dating, gifts, marriage. All of that stuff. This isn’t some miscommunication thing from Angel to human, right?” 

 

“Sam,” Cas snaps. “I’m being serious, okay?”

 

“Okay, okay.” Sam huffs, taking a moment before blowing out a gust of air. “Just relax, man. So, what made you realize it?”

 

“The kiss under the mistletoe,” Cas admits calmly and Sam winces. 

 

“The one in which Dean was plastered and you were completely sober,” Sam groans. 

 

“Yes,” Cas confirms. 

 

“Okay, well that totally sucks. Um, sorry about encouraging that, by the way. I wouldn’t have if I weren’t drunk at the time and especially if I knew about this,” Sam tells him.

 

“Why are you apologizing, Sam?” Cas asks. “Is this not a good thing? I am actually glad I know this about myself now. I can talk to Dean and we can either fix it if it is an issue or we can make something of it.”

 

Sam’s eyes bulged. 

 

“No!” Sam burst out, leaning forward. “No, Cas, you  _ can't  _ do that, okay? If you tell Dean, he will flip out, alright? He’s your best friend so, for now, we keep this between us.” 

 

Cas was about to explain that he didn't want to do that. Yes, he'd done that earlier but he had panicked at the suddenness of it. He was going to tell Sam that he felt it necessary to talk to Dean about it. However, he didn't get to because Sam’s door jerked open. 

 

Cas and Sam froze, turning around to stare at Dean’s figure in the doorway. Dean was frowning at them, his arms crossed and defensive. Fortunately for Cas, Dean’s eyes were pinned on Sam and not him, which led him to believe that he didn't hear any of their conversation. There was a tense silence and after a few moments, Sam cleared his throat. 

 

“Dean,” Sam started, drawing himself up to full height. 

 

“What are we not telling me?” Dean cut him off sharply, narrowing his eyes and finally flicking his gaze to Cas before jumping right back to Sam. 

 

“Nothing,” Sam blurts out. “There is nothing.”

 

“Sam,” Cas murmurs cautiously. 

 

“Are you two hiding something from me?” Dean interrupts, raising his eyebrows. 

 

“No,” Cas says, which is true because he is the one hiding something, not Sam. 

 

“Really?” Dean challenges, his jaw clenching as he stared. 

 

“Look, Dean,” Sam sighs, reaching up to ruffle his hair. “It’s really nothing, don't worry about it, okay? Just- Just chill out.” 

 

“Chill out,” Dean parrots back flatly. “Right.”

 

There is another tense silence and after a bit, Dean runs his tongue under his top lip and turns and walks away. Sam sags and reaches out to shut the door with a soft click. Something about the encounter left Cas with a pit of dread in his stomach. Sam seems to sense that and he reaches out to clap him on the shoulder, offering an apologetic smile. 

 

“See?” Sam says gently. 

 

Cas thinks over everything he knows about Dean, considering even their last moment. Dean is a lot of things, most of them good, but one thing Cas had forgot to think about was how Dean’s anger usually got the spotlight in the show that was Dean’s emotions. Cas thought over it harder, coming to the realization that no matter how Dean felt, this wasn't going to end well. 

 

“Yes, Sam,” Cas whispers back, dropping his head. “I see.”

 

.

.

.

 

Dean was cold towards Sam and Cas for a couple of days after that, barely even speaking to them and steering clear from them at all possible. Sam made Cas promise not to say anything or attempt to smooth it over and that led to many whispered arguments in dark corners that Dean always seemed to walk in on, only making Dean's anger worse and ignoring stretch on. Cas just wanted to fix things; Sam absolutely refused to let him. 

 

Eventually though, Dean calmed down. His little bursts of anger and rudeness finally faded out and things got okay again. Dean was back to pranking Sam and playfully mocking Cas in his own way of letting them know he loved them. 

 

So, Sam yanked Cas in his room to plan. 

 

“Alright,” Sam murmured, crossing his arms and smiling warmly. “Now that you know how you feel, we have to see if Dean returns those feelings. Which, that's gonna be easy.” 

 

“How?” Cas grumbled. “I know Dean intimately, Sam, all the way to his soul. Yet, I'm unable to work out if he feels the same, even just slightly.” 

 

“Dude, Dean's so transparent when it comes to attraction. He has tells. He's never really had to hide it before but there are some things that are pretty obvious,” Sam explains casually. 

 

“I don't know what you're suggesting,” Cas says honestly, tilting his head. 

 

“We gotta put you in a position that has Dean seeing you in what would be an attractive light  _ if  _ he's attracted to you,” Sam informs him seriously, waving a hand flippantly. 

 

“You're suggesting that I dangle myself in front of him provocatively and see if he notices.” 

 

“That's not- I mean,” Sam mutters. “No.” 

 

“Maybe this is all a bad idea,” Cas croaks out, swallowing thickly and turning away. 

 

“Hey,” Sam assures him softly. “Don't say that. You can't help how you feel, Cas.” 

 

“Maybe I'm mistaken,” Cas suggests lightly, his chest tightening. “Maybe it means nothing.” 

 

“No, no,” Sam blurts, his eyes sad. “Cas, this means something. It's important to me too.” 

 

Cas just averts his eyes and swallows thickly again. He wants to pretend it never happened, the kiss, the realization of his love, all of it. He just wants to be done with it. He wants to go back to the way it was before, before he knew that he was in love with Dean and that love was most likely never going to be returned. 

 

It  _ hurt.  _

 

“Hey,” Sam murmurs gently. “Listen to me, this matters. You matter. So, just- just understand.”

 

Cas blinked rapidly as Sam abruptly reached down and peeled his shirt off, his hair floating down as he tossed his shirt on the bed. Cas frowned, staring up at Sam in confusion, not quite understanding what Sam was doing. 

 

“Just trust me,” Sam says and he reaches out and takes Cas’ hand, pulling it up to rest on his upper arm, right below the curve of his shoulder. 

And, just like that, Cas did understand. 

 

Cas had known that Dean was the most important person to him the moment he held him close and ripped him from hell. It's why Cas’ handprint would forever be burned on Dean in the same exact spot that Sam was making him touch. It made sense to him, made him understand  _ why  _ it mattered so much. Cas did for Dean that no other had ever done and Sam's soft eyes told him he was thankful. Sam wanted this as much as Cas was pretending not to. Cas exhaled softly, staring up at Sam in awe.

 

Sam's door slammed open and two heads whipped around in surprise to take in Dean standing in the doorway. Cas looked on in surprised as Dean gaped at them in shock, his mouth parted and his eyes wide. Sam went very still and swallowed thickly, chewing his lip as Dean slowly blinked and reached up to rub at his eyes, clearly not believing what he was witnessing. Cas’ heart raced in his chest. 

 

“What,” Dean began, his voice low and cracking as he shifted in place. “The  _ fuck? _ ” 

 

“Dean,” Cas says quickly, dropping his hand from Sam and stepping towards Dean. 

 

“Nothing,” Sam cut him off sharply, clearing his throat and staring at Dean. “Nothing at all.” 

 

“You're shirtless and you guys were talking about feelings,” Dean points out, his jaw jumping from where he clenched his teeth. 

 

“What did you hear?” Cas demands, his stomach suddenly a swirl of nerves. 

 

“Nothing,” Dean says, frowning as if he wished he'd heard more. “Just that you feel something and Sam says it's okay and that you should trust him and I have no fucking clue what I just heard. So, what the absolute fuck, man?” 

 

“Oh,” Cas breathes in relief, briefly closing his eyes before looking up at Sam for help. 

 

“This is completely out of context,” Sam tells Dean, throwing out his hands and shrugging sheepishly. “It's nothing, seriously.” 

 

“You guys are seriously not telling me shit, are you?” Dean snaps, his nostrils flaring in anger.

 

“Sorry,” Cas whispers, ducking his head. “But, no, Dean, we're not. There's nothing to tell.”

 

Cas doesn't look up until Dean's boots are clomping away and he struggles around the lump in his throat. Sam pulls on his shirt and turns to look at Cas, still chewing his lip. 

 

“Well,” Sam huffs. “That went well.” 

 

“No,” Cas disagrees. “It did not.” 

 

Sam squeezes his eyes closed, looking for a moment as if he'd stubbed his toe. 

 

“Sarcasm, Cas,” Sam grits out. “Sarcasm.” 

.

.

.

 

“I don't understand why I have to wear this,” Cas announces, looking forlornly at his trench coat draped over the chair in Sam's room. 

 

“Because,” Sam hisses. “You look good,  _ different.  _ I need to know how Dean reacts. I need to know if he's at least attracted to you.” 

 

Cas sighs heavily and glances in the mirror. He looks fine, he supposes. Sam took him shopping, forcing him into tight black jeans, black boots with odd buckles, a blue Henley, and a black leather jacket. Sam grinned widely as soon as he'd seen it on Cas and insisted that he wear it. Cas misses his trench coat. 

 

“What should I do?” Cas asks, his stomach flipping at the idea of  _ flirting.  _

 

“Just walk by and tell him something. It could literally be anything at all,” Sam says before snapping his fingers staring at Cas seriously, his lips pursed. “But, be casual.” 

 

“Fine, I can do that, I guess,” Cas grumbles. 

 

“Good,” Sam hums. “Let's do it now.” 

 

Sam hops up and leads him into the hallway, walking with him towards the foyer. Before they go in, Sam steps back and lets Cas take the lead, following with watchful eyes. Dean's sitting at the main table, his feet propped up as he stares at his phone. Cas walks in and clears his throat, causing Dean to jerk and quickly slam his phone down, his head whipping up. 

 

“Hello, Dean,” Cas greets. 

 

Cas isn't sure what he's looking for. It's not exactly something he ever thought to search for before. He never had to because Dean was open about his attractions, just straight up announcing it when he was attracted to someone. Though, that was all women anyway. Cas never seen Dean attracted to men but there were times he had his suspicions. 

 

Dean simply stares up at him and doesn't say anything. He just…stares. Cas wants to turn around and look at Sam for help but Sam had firmly advised against making eye contact so as not to arouse suspicion. Finally, Dean sits up and folds his hands together, clearing his throat. 

“Cas, buddy, whatcha wearing, man?” Dean asks, his eyebrows crinkling. 

 

“New clothes,” Cas says and lifts his arms, turning in a full circle. 

 

“Why?” Dean blurts. 

 

“Sam took me shopping,” Cas tells him, rolling his eyes fondly. “It was...fun.” 

 

“Oh,” Dean says, his voice suddenly harsh as his face closes off and turns into a glare that gets immediately pointed to Sam. “Is that right? Is that a thing we do now? Go shopping. I'm so glad you guys had fun.  _ Awesome. _ ” 

 

Dean jolts from his seat, muttering to himself as he stalked off. Cas watches as he storms off, his heart dropping. After a few moments, Cas realizes that he's disappointed, that he'd hoped that Dean would be attracted to him. It shouldn't hurt as much as it did. 

 

“Wow,” Sam breathes out. 

 

“I know,” Cas sighs. “I guess it's over.”

 

“What?” Sam blurts and Cas turns around, confusion marring his face. “No, no, it's not. What are you talking about? This is great!” 

 

“I don't understand. He was very angry, Sam, especially about shopping,” Cas says. 

 

“Dude, no, that's not- Look, just trust me. Like I said, Dean has his tells. It's gonna be fine, alright?” Sam reassures him, smiling slightly. 

 

“I do trust you, Sam,” Cas admits cautiously. 

 

“Good,” Sam hums. “Now, just follow my lead.” 

.

.

.

 

“Hey, so, I've got an idea,” Sam says as he slides into the booth beside Cas, Dean's old seat that was vacated because Dean had to use the restroom. 

 

“Okay,” Cas allows, dipping his head and smiling slightly. “I'm glad you're helping me, Sam. I don't think I'd do this the right way if I didn't have your help.” 

 

“I'm happy to help,” Sam chuckles. “I just want you to be happy and Dean, too. I thought Dean had something for you but I never really got into it because I wasn't sure about you.” 

 

“So, your idea?” Cas murmurs. 

 

“Right,” Sam whispers, huddling in closer beside Cas and dipping his mouth near his ear to keep it quiet. “So, I'm thinking you should start getting him gifts and spend some quality time with him outside of cases. Kinda woo him, I guess. But, it'll make his day, I promise.” 

 

“I like this idea,” Cas approves in a whisper, grinning into Sam's neck. 

 

“Exactly, this is gonna work,” Sam breathes back, reaching over to squeeze Cas’ shoulder supportively, excitement obvious in his frame. 

 

“Ahem.” 

 

Cas and Sam jerked apart, staring up at Dean in shock and despair. Cas fretted, clenching his fists in worry. Fuck, had he heard? Dean stood, with his arms crossed, beside the table and stared down at them with a glare. 

 

Fuck, he'd heard. 

 

“Dean,” Cas starts, panic laced in his tone. 

 

“Sam, you're in  _ my  _ seat,” Dean growls, his fingers clenching and unclenching as if he itched to  _ destroy.  _

 

“Ah, right,” Sam chuckles awkwardly, quickly standing. “Yeah, that's- I know that.” 

 

Dean immediately plopped down back in his seat, pressing into Cas’ side like he'd rather never leave. Their knees bumped and Cas went very stiff. He didn't want Dean to know that he was in love with him but it was very hard to avoid when he ached to press closer and simply be allowed to do so. Cas inched away, scooting away from Dean as much as the booth would allow. He thought it was discreet until Dean's head turned and he was faced with the look of utter betrayal and disbelief. 

 

“Fuck it,” Dean snaps, shoving out of the booth and throwing money down. “We're done any fucking way. We got a case to solve. Let's go.” 

 

Cas met Sam's eyes, panic clear on his face, a constant plea for help. Sam's eyes were wide and he shrugged slightly. Cas didn't understand what he'd done wrong. If anything, he'd given Dean space so as  _ not  _ to alert him to Cas’ feelings. Dean shouldn't have been upset. 

 

“Stop fucking looking at each other and let's fucking go!” Dean shouts, jabbing a finger at them both before stomping off. 

 

“I don't understand,” Cas murmurs weakly. 

 

“Yeah,” Sam agrees just as weakly. “Me either.”

 

As they got up and left, the waitress walked out to the table with plates in her hand, her head turning back and forth in confusion. 

 

“Fudge,” She sighs. “They didn't even eat.” 

.

.

.

 

“Dean.” 

 

Cas is wary, his hands clenched around a brown paper bag behind his back. Dean glances up from his phone and puts it face down on the table. Dean hasn't said much since they solved the case in Iowa but at least he's no longer trying to glare them to hell. 

 

“Yeah, what's up, Cas?” Dean asks gruffly, his finger trailing down the side of his phone. 

 

“I got you something,” Cas says and brings the paper bag for Dean to see. “A gift.” 

 

“Oh?” Dean blurts, sitting forward and blinking rapidly in surprise. “I- Why?” 

 

“I saw it and I thought of you so I bought it,” Cas admits and fights a blush. 

 

“Oh, um, thanks, Cas,” Dean murmurs and Cas watches as a blush lights up his face. 

 

Cas passes it over and Dean grabs it. He gently peels back the bag and reaches inside, drawing out what Cas had bought. Dean stares at the red box that's wrapped in gold ribbon for a few moments before gently opening it. 

 

“A cigar?” Dean asks, surprise clear in his tone. 

 

“Kurt Vonnegut,” Cas blurts, his heart racing in his chest. “It's the last cigar he ever had. He bought it but never got to smoke it.” 

 

“Wait,” Dean breathes, glancing up to stare at Cas in awe. “No fucking way. This is- No way.” 

 

“Yes,” Cas says and nods jerkily. 

 

“Cas this must've cost a fortune,” Dean whispers, his lips parted. “How'd you- I can't believe this. Are you serious?” 

 

“It's yours,” Cas says and gives a small smile, his heart slowing down to a flutter that caused a warmth to blossom in his stomach. 

 

“Oh my God,” Dean yells happily, standing up and rushing over to give Cas a hug, curling into him and holding tight. “This is the best thing that's ever happened to me, hands down.” 

 

“I'm happy,” Cas says simply, wrapping his arms around Dean and closing his eyes. 

 

For a bare few moments, it's only about the hug. Just the contact and the warmth and the joy that surrounds the moment. But then, Cas realizes that Dean's not letting go and he knew he should've pulled away by now. Dean is going to suspect something, Cas knows this, but he can't force himself to step away. Just a bit longer. And,  _ nope,  _ that's exactly what will get him into trouble. Abruptly, Cas jerks away, clenching his fists and staring at Dean, their eyes running into each other and freezing. Dean doesn't blink, just stares, and Cas refuses to look away. 

 

“Thank you,” Dean murmurs, dropping his gaze suddenly and walking over to pick up the cigar. 

 

“You're welcome, Dean,” Cas says softly. 

 

Dean turns around, wearing a big grin but his eyes are sad. Cas frowns as Dean clears his throat and holds the box tight, nodding towards his room. Then, without another word, Dean walks away and into his room, shutting his door with a quiet click. Cas sighs and reaches up to pinch the bridge of his nose. 

 

He knew he should've pulled away. 

.

.

.

 

“Where's Sam?” Dean asks as he walks into the foyer, his boots clomping loudly. 

 

“He went out,” Cas answers, turning in his seat to stare up at Dean. “I have a question.” 

 

“Okay,” Dean says and waves his hand. “Hit me with it but no weird shit.” 

 

“Do you want to go on a picnic with me?” Cas blurts out in a rush. 

 

“Right now?” Dean asks incredulously. 

 

“Yes,” Cas confirms and swallows. “I know the perfect spot. I think you'll like it.” 

 

“Um, Cas, it's night time, buddy.” 

 

“I know that.” 

 

“Well,” Dean mutters. “As long as you're aware. Why the hell not? Where we going?” 

 

“In the field behind the bunker. There's a path and it leads to the perfect spot. I've actually wanted to show you for a while,” Cas admits, looking down as he fiddled with the chair. 

 

“Okay,” Dean agrees quietly. “Let's go, then.” 

 

Cas gets the picnic basket and leads Dean out the bunker, taking him around to the back where the field was. They walked alongside each other for a while, ducking under branches of the trees that lined up beside the road. 

 

“The stars are always so visible here,” Cas notes, staring up at the dark sky littered with the blinking lights that we're stars. 

 

“Yeah,” Dean agrees. “Don't tell Sam but sometimes I bring Baby out here and we look out at the stars. It's a date.” 

 

“I'm sure Baby enjoys that,” Cas says honestly. 

 

Dean chuckles and follows Cas when he takes a left at a little pathway into the woods. They have to avoid even more branches and vines but Dean doesn't complain. And, eventually, the path opens up to a clearing that held a little worn gazebo with a bench. 

 

“Oh, wow,” Dean hums. “I didn't know this was out here. How'd you know about it?” 

 

“I wander a lot,” Cas tells him as they approach the gazebo and sit on the bench. “It's quiet out here and allows me to think.” 

 

“Oh, so it's like  _ your  _ spot,” Dean murmurs and settles in his seat. “You didn't have to bring me out here, man, if it's your thing.” 

 

“No, I want to share it with you,” Cas assures him quickly. “It can be  _ ours. _ ” 

 

“Does Sam know about it?”

 

Dean sounds wary but there is a little hope in his voice. Cas wishes he was a liar because then he would say that Sam did know about it. Then, things wouldn't be so suspicious. Cas didn't want Dean to realize that Cas wanted to share this with him and only him. But, Cas was not a liar, especially not to Dean. 

 

“No, he doesn't.” 

 

Surprisingly, Dean relaxed and offers a smile. They begin to eat and conversation flows between them comfortably. It's almost exactly the same as always, except it's not. Cas isn't sure if it's because he knows he's in love with Dean now, or what, but things feel just a bit warmer and just a bit more intimate. 

 

Cas loves it. 

 

They eventually finish their food and go quiet, both staring out at the stars. It's a comfortable silence and Cas is happy not to fill it. He's never had to, not with Dean. Cas thinks, for a moment, that he should just tell Dean what he feels. Dean wouldn't exile him for it. He would talk about it and they would figure out what to do, depending on how Dean felt. Cas was tired of hiding it from him. Besides, this felt like a safe space, a place that couldn't be shattered by Dean's anger, as if it couldn't exist here. 

 

“Dean,” Cas says softly and turns to look at Dean, hope and fear battling in his chest. 

 

But, Dean's already looking at him, his brow furrowed with the weight of his thoughts. Somewhere, a cricket starts up a song and Dean leans across the bench, his eyes wide and impossibly beautiful. Cas stays still, not wanting to break the moment or cause Dean to pull away or change his mind. 

 

Dean's hands cradle his face and the shock of it makes Cas go stiff. Dean isn't deterred, a new determination causing him to push in closer and cover Cas’ mouth with his. 

 

And, it's like the night of Christmas all over again. Cas slowly opens up and allows Dean to kiss him fully, enjoying the way Dean's hand hooks around his neck and pulls him closer. Something like a whine crawls from Dean's mouth and enters Cas’ throat. Fingers curl into the lapels of his trenchcoat and tug him closer, pulling him in more urgently. 

 

It's perfect and Cas wants to give more, wants to kiss back just as insistently, wants to yank Dean closer and live in the moment. But, he can't. He can't because he's thinking way too much, fear squashing all hope that had been present earlier. And, it's not fair, it's not right, but Cas just can't give all he wants. 

 

But, he gives what he can. 

 

Slowly, as if he's savoring it, Dean pulls away, his eyes gently opening. Cas stares at him, pretty sure that it's being reflected on his face that he's stunned. Finally,  _ finally,  _ Cas is happy with his realization. For once, he wasn't on the wrong track or causing problems. 

 

“I'm so sorry,” Dean blurts out, fumbling as he suddenly jerks away. “I shouldn't have done that. Cas, I'm so sorry.” 

 

As soon as the words were out, Cas’ heart shriveled and all the thoughts in his head did a quick turn. Dean looked panicked, eyes wide with apology and shock, as if he couldn't believe what he'd done. And, he probably couldn't. Dean hadn't truly wanted that. He'd probably known about Cas’ feelings for a while and was indulging him. But, Dean knew now. 

 

Dean didn't want Cas. 

 

Cas flew away. 

.

.

.

 

“Sam.” 

 

“What the fuck, Cas!?” Sam shouts, yanking the cover up to hide all of his and Eileen's indecencies, not that Cas even cared. 

 

“He kissed me,” Cas croaks out and Sam jerked up in bed. 

 

“ _ Hold on, _ ” Sam signs to Eileen and she nods, sitting up beside him and staring at Cas. 

 

“He kissed you?” Sam asks. “Why do you look so sad? What happened?” 

 

“He said that he shouldn't have done that. He even apologized,” Cas whispers, his voice cracking as he drops his head. 

 

“Oh, Cas,” Sam sighs sadly. 

 

“I think he knew, Sam,” Cas says. “I think he knew how I felt from the beginning. I think he was just indulging me but it didn't work because Dean doesn't love me back.” 

 

“Alright, hold on, buddy,” Sam murmurs and turns to Eileen, his fingers flying as he signed out what had been going on. 

 

“What!?” Eileen burst out, a bit too loudly. “Is he crazy? You're so handsome, though!” 

 

Cas smiles slightly as Sam huffs and he signs  _ thank you.  _ She smiles and reaches down to gather clothes so she can pull them under the covers. Sam does the same and Cas forgets to offer them some privacy until it's too late. 

 

“Why don't you stay here with us tonight, yeah? I'm bringing Eileen over tomorrow, anyway. Dean won't be too weird if we're all there,” Sam assures him, offering a small smile. 

 

“But, I interrupted you two enjoying sex. That wouldn't be really fair to either of you,” Cas sighs and ignores the way Sam shifts awkwardly and Eileen grins. 

 

“We don't mind,” She tells him kindly. 

 

“I think I'll just fly to my room and stay absolutely silent so he doesn't know that I'm there,” Cas suggests with an awkward shrug. 

 

“He spoke too fast and I couldn't read his lips. What'd he say?” Eileen asks Sam. 

 

As Sam signs to Eileen, Cas flies back and turns his phone off, settling down on his bed and listening to Dean move around in the bunker, clearly fixing himself a drink. 

 

It was a long night. 

 

Dean never slept. 

.

.

.

 

“So?” Sam asks softly. “Has he come out yet?” 

 

“No, but he didn't sleep last night, either. I heard him all night, moving around,” Cas sighs, reaching up to scrub a hand down his face. 

 

“Well, it's almost noon. He should be up soon. You two need to talk,” Sam tells him seriously. 

 

“I don't want to,” Cas mumbles. 

 

“You need to,” Eileen says gently, reaching out to hold his hand. “You both need closure.” 

 

“Thank you,” Cas murmurs. 

 

They all froze when they heard the boots clomping against the floor. Eileen retracted her hand and Cas went very still, his heart the only thing moving. The boots got closer and and Eileen stood with Sam, both getting closer to the door, their intentions on leaving clear. 

 

“Morning, Dean,” Sam greets him casually. 

 

“Sam,” Dean says shortly. “Hey, Eileen. You look lovely, as always.” 

 

Cas slowly turns, his face twisted in pain. This was going to be the worst talk he'd ever endure, he was sure of it. Eileen smiles and signs  _ thank you  _ to Dean, which earns her a smile. Slowly, Dean's eyes crawl to Cas and as soon as he saw the hurt on Cas’ face, his own face twisted in confusion. Sam cleared his throat. 

 

“Well, Eileen and I are going on a date, so we'll be back later,” Sam informs the room. 

 

Dean's head jerks around to stare at Sam like he was nuts, his mouth popping open as Sam leaned down and gave Eileen a quick kiss. Dean's eyes swiveled to Cas and Cas wished he'd been able to soften his face at the display but he envied it. He wanted that, with  _ Dean.  _

 

“Are you fucking joking?” Dean growls out, suddenly turning to Sam in anger. 

 

“Uh, what?” Sam asks slowly. 

 

Confusion quickly melted into shock as Dean's fist connected with Sam's face, sending him tumbling against the wall. Cas stands up, sucking in a sharp breath as Dean shakes out his fist and glares at Sam. Eileen takes a few steps to the side, staring at Dean in shock. 

 

“The fuck, Sam!?” Dean yells, balling his fist yet again, looking ready to hit his brother yet again. 

 

“What the hell, Dean!?” Sam yells back, cradling his face and staring at Dean in blatant shock. “What was that for!?” 

 

“You just kissed Eileen, that's why!” Dean shouts and Cas frowns at the display. 

 

Did Dean  _ want  _ Eileen?

 

“Yeah, and?” Sam challenges. 

 

“And!? You better be fucking joking! How could you do that to Cas?” Dean grits out, both fists curling and uncurling. 

 

“To  _ Cas? _ ” Sam blurts, looking over at Cas in confusion and uncertainty. 

 

“I wasn't aware that y'all broke up but you shouldn't be flaunting your next relationship in his face, especially when he clearly not over it. What the fuck, man?” Dean lectures. 

 

“Broke up?” Cas echoes faintly. 

 

“Relationship?” Sam mutters, narrowing his eyes at Dean. “What are you talking about?” 

 

“I know that you guys didn't want to tell me but I'm not an idiot,” Dean grits out, shifting in place and crossing his arms. “I know you two are together or were. Please tell me you didn't break up because I kissed him.” 

 

“Dean,” Cas says softly, reaching out to touch Dean's shoulder, urging him to turn around. 

 

“Cas, I'm sorry,” Dean says as he turns, apologies and self hatred written all over his face. “I should've never done that.” 

 

“Dean,” Cas whispers and out of the corner of his eyes, he watches as Sam and Eileen slip out of the room. “Sam and I were never together. There was no relationship.” 

 

Dean blinks at him. 

 

“Yes, there was. You were always in his room, Cas. And, he was shirtless once. I caught you guys more than once. And then, there was the bribery. You bought me stuff and hung out with me to warm me up to the idea to you being with my brother. You wanted my blessing.” 

 

Dean sounds sure and Cas wants to kiss him.  

 

“Oh, Dean,” Cas sighs, smiling softly. “I never wanted to be with Sam. I just wanted his help because I wanted to be with  _ you.  _ I told Sam of my feelings for you and he was trying to help me win favor with you, that's all.” 

 

“No,” Dean denies flatly. “That's not-  _ no. _ ” 

 

“Dean, after the kiss on Christmas, I realized that I was in love with you and had been for a very long time. I wasn't sure what to do with the information and so I went to Sam for help rather than just telling you. I was worried that you would get angry or even hate me.” 

 

“No fucking way.” 

 

“I understand if this information bothers you and I'm willing to sit down and discuss what we should do about it,” Cas says and he heaves a sigh, relief replacing the weight in his chest. 

 

Dean pushes into his space and backs him up into the counter, reaching out to tug him close. Cas’ eyes bulge as Dean leans in and kisses him, arms slithering around his neck to hold him close. Now this,  _ this,  _ feels right. 

 

Cas gives his everything this time, opening his mouth with a sigh and letting his fingers dig into Dean's side, refusing to let him go. Dean hums into his mouth, a pleased sound, and Cas thinks that maybe Dean truly doesn't have any other place that he'd rather be. 

 

“Fuck you  _ and  _ Sam,” Dean groans as he pulls away, kissing him again before he can reply. 

 

“I've been pining and being an idiot for fucking nothing,” Dean says as he pulls away yet again before delving right back in. 

 

“I've been staring at that picture of us on Christmas for fucking weeks, man. And, buddy, lemme tell you, I've been a wreck,” Dean pants into his mouth. “So goddamn jealous, so stupidly pathetic. I couldn't- Cas, I didn't know how to let you go, especially not for Sam.” 

 

Cas reaches up and pulls Dean's mouth away, needing a second to get his thoughts together. Dean stares at him, breathing deeply, eyes so wide and full of that same something that they shared in the picture on Christmas. Cas gently runs his hand over Dean's cheek. 

 

“You don't have to let me go, Dean,” Cas murmurs, joy springing loose. “Not for anyone in this world and especially not for Sam.” 

 

“Thank God,” Dean moans pathetically and let's his forehead thump against Cas’. 

 

“We have much to discuss,” Cas hums, making no move to leave the moment. 

 

“Yeah,” Dean agrees. “Maybe tomorrow, though? I'd really like to get you horizontal.” 

 

Excitement flares in Cas. 

 

“Yeah, maybe tomorrow,” Cas agrees. 

.

.

.

 

“So,” Sam says on amusement. “You, uh, thought I stole your boyfriend.” 

 

“Sam,” Dean snaps. “Let it go.” 

 

“Yeah, I'll  _ never  _ forget this, dude.” 

 

“I will murder you.” 

 

“And, break Cas’ heart?” 

 

“ _ Shut up. _ ” 

**Author's Note:**

> This is a weird trope that I've seen done a lot and I honestly never expected to write it. But, here I am, at a new low. I'm comforted by the fact that Cas and Sam were unaware the whole time. I'm definitely not a fan of Sam doing it on purpose or even Cas, so there's that. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed! Drop a comment and some kudos! Thank you! 
> 
> -sobs


End file.
